Bump And Beyond


Why It’s Perfectly Acceptable That You’re Not Ready for Children Yet*


Societal pressure can make us do a lot of crazy things. These days, people are starting to wake up to the responsibilities of starting a family and are more likely to avoid rushing into it. Whether it’s due to financial obligations or because they’re a busy working parent, starting a family is usually a bad idea unless you’re fully prepared for the responsibilities involved. However, societal pressure can often push us into starting a family at a much early age. Perhaps all of our friends and relatives are starting their families already, or maybe you feel like you’re going to be too old to start a family soon. Whatever the case is, it’s normal to feel like you’re being pressured into it.

However, we’re going to explain in this article that it’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to start a family just yet. We’ll be offering some comforting advice to anyone that doesn’t feel ready for the responsibility just yet.

Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/6-5V_eVG2SU (CC0)

You’re not ready to hang up your aspirations just yet

One of the biggest concerns with starting a family is that it usually eats up a lot of your time. After all, you’ve got a responsibility to look after a child and that means watching them for almost every hour of the day. Your work is going to be disrupted, your chances of promotion are going to drop and you may even need to sacrifice your work depending on how you try to balance the two. Unfortunately, there’s very little you can do in this situation. Even if you hire a carer to look after your child for most of the week, you’ll be sacrificing valuable time that you could be spending with them during their formative years. As any parent should know, spending one-to-one time with your child is incredibly important and should be something you sacrifice your free time for.

However, for some of this, giving up our time or career for a child can sound like a horrible idea. What if you’ve still got aspirations to reach for? What if you feel like you have so much more to achieve in life? What if your business is thriving and you don’t want to give it up to raise a family? These are all completely valid concerns that you can’t ignore.

For some families, this is often solved by having one of the parents look after the child while the other continues working and building up their career. Unfortunately, this still creates an imbalance due to the lack of time spent as a family. It’s important to grow your bond together as a family. If your child only sees one parent more than the other, it can cause problems later in the future. Parental guilt may also catch up to you later in the future, and you may regret pursuing your career goals and sacrificing time you could’ve spent with your children.

It’s important to consider your own passions and goals before you decide to have a child. You’ll only be making things more difficult for yourself if you have to balance two difficult choices. That’s why many professionals these days avoid starting a family when they’re at the height of their career. They want to continue reaching for their goals and growing their wealth before they decide to settle down. That’s a perfectly valid reason to put off starting a family and no one should feel guilty or bad because of it.

You and your partner still have much to explore together

You and your partner may still have a lot that you want to explore before you decide to start a family. If you’re both adventurous people, then there may be lots of countries that you want to visit, experiences that you want to share and goals that you want to reach. This is usually true for couples that have recently met and are still getting to know each other. After all, starting a family means sticking to a single partner for the rest of your life, so it’s completely normal to wait it out before you commit.

If you and your partner are still on the fence because you have a lot left in life to experience, then you shouldn’t feel pressured into starting a family just yet. For instance, some couples may want to avoid the possibility of conceiving a child while still exploring their intimate time together. As such, you may be looking at different contraceptive options and buying supplies to last a while. But is it effective? There are actually many different types of contraceptives and they’re usually split into emergency and proactive types. For example, a contraceptive implant can last up to 3 years or an intrauterine device (IUD) can last up to 5 or even 10 years. If you’re looking at options like this because you’re worried about conceiving a child, then it’s perfectly fine to just accept that you and your partner have a lot more to explore before you decide to settle down.

Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/2uFwjoJHUNU (CC0)

You’re not financially prepared for a child

Another common thing that stops parents from having a child is due to their financial circumstances. Parents can raise a child on a low income with help from the government and their friends and family members. However, that doesn’t help when it comes to giving your child a secure and stable lifestyle or preparing them for a successful future. For example, do you think you’ll have enough money to pay for their college fees? What about helping them afford their first car or paying for their medical fees? There are lots of responsibilities to think about when it comes to money.

Ideally, your financial situation should be relatively stable before you have a child. By focusing on your savings and achieving financial freedom as early as possible, you’ll have a much easier time looking after your child and providing for them. However, there’s no magical savings number that you need to reach before you can have a child. Instead, it’s going to depend more on your income and how steady your job is. People with a relatively stable income can think about having children earlier because they’re able to provide for their child. However, if your income is unstable and you’re not sure how long you’ll be at your current job, then it’s best to think twice before you have a child.

Of course, you don’t need to be rich to have a child. That’s a huge misconception that a lot of people unfortunately believe. It’s more important to have a stable income so that you can help pay for things such as supplies and food while keeping your family afloat. Remember that a child can cost a lot of money to raise. You’re going to have another mouth to feed and a body to cloth, so it can get surprisingly expensive if you’re not adopting frugal practices.

There’s also a big spike in expenses as soon as you have your child. For instance, you may need to perform some home renovations or even move house so you have a home that can support a child. You don’t want your child to sleep in your room for too long and it’s best to give them some privacy once they’re old enough. As such, you can’t really raise a child in a single-bedroom house or studio apartment. You’ll also need to buy one-off items such as a new crib, stroller and toys.

If you feel that you’re being pressured into having a child, take a moment to rethink your situation. There are plenty of good reasons why you might want to avoid having a child right now, so don’t feel ashamed or frustrated. After all, your goal is to provide your child with a bright and successful future, and that’s not possible unless you’re ready to fully commit.


Contact Form (Do not remove it)

back to top